'You can't return the shorts that you're currently wearing': 30+ Times customers asked inexplicable questions

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    SALE
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    People who work in customer service, what is the one thing you never thought you'd have to explain to an adult?
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    EmptyPomoc You need to take the suppositories out of their foil packaging before you use them. He complained that they didn't work and were uncomfortable. I bet they were.
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    kor_hookmaster Years ago I worked in student housing at a university and had to explain to a father, for well over an hour, that I could not make sure that his daughter was in her room by 8 PM and ensure that she never spoke to boys.
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    elevenfish A dialogue I actually had to have with a grown-a adult: Him, pointing at the price tag on a shirt: "Excuse me, what do these numbers represent?" Me: "The numbers right after the dollar sign?"
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    Him: "Yes." Me: "That's the price of the shirt." Him: "Oh, I see! Thank you!" At least he was friendly.
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    mandaman1608 That if you order ice cream for 4 people on a hot summer day, but the 4 people are still like 30 minutes away, said ice cream is going to melt before the 4 people get there. And no, that is not my fault.
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    D.. "You're not more important than any other customer, which is why we sold (whatever you're looking for) to people who came in here before you." People really show how narcissistic they are; they're offended by the world not revolving around them. You genuinely get people who can't believe a store didn't
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    refuse to sell items to other people, on the off chance. that the main character comes in and wants one. Also "It's sold out because you waited until 2 days before a holiday and other people came in a week ago."
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    LadyBearJenna My first job at 16 was Party City. One day, I'm blowing up balloons at the balloon counter and a lady comes up to buy some latex balloons. I ask if she wants us to fill them and she said no, she'd do it at home. Making small talk, I said oh you must have one of the party time helium tasks at home.
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    "No, I blow them up with my mouth. You just put the string on them and they float!" I do the multiple blinks, trying to work out in my head what she's just said. She fully believed she could blow up the balloons with her mouth and the magic was attaching a string. I tried to give this woman an impromptu chemistry lesson. She insisted.
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    I still think about that magic woman to this day.
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    CrazyQueen502 You can't apply a coupon if you 1) don't have it with you and 2) doesn't even apply to you ordered
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    daubignylee My business is not a charity. We don't give you whatever you want just because you have a sad story.
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    bradpittisnorton That I couldn't help them diagnose their internet connectivity issues if they don't find their modem's power cord.
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    CrashCoplee Oh, so so so many thing. 1. If you wish to return an item you must present the item and your receipt. I cannot process a refund if you have neither. 2. No, we do not sell asbestos. No, I cannot order some in for you.
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    3. When water boils it does indeed produce "bubbles". If the water is bubbling once it reaches temperature your kettle is in fact working properly.
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    4. Zip ties are not simply 'disposable handcuffs'. They can be used for other purposes and it should not be concerning nor surprising that a hardware store sells them.
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    Stinkfist4 That owning a fitbit does not make you skinny and today I had to explain to a couple that just because the amazon echo box doesnt state that it uses wifi. It will still use it as it needs it to be a smart home device.
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    Daritone That you can't return the shorts that you're currently wearing...
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    ValuableMine9 I understand you want to protect your personal information but I cannot send you what you want unless you give me your address!
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    pink_highlight I worked at the airport and someone wanted to go through TSA with a 2 liter bottle of Coca Cola. I calmly explained that liquids weren't allowed through security. The man gave the most genuine chuckle I've ever heard and said "oh! This isn't Coca Cola! It's gasoline!"
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    My coworker beat me to a reaction cause he very loudly exclaimed "What the f….. ???"
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    Needed Monster A very p ed high society woman came to the store saying her brand new 3000 dollars Microsoft surface bought by her husband was defective because she could not get internet when she was on the move. I wondered if she had a version with a 3g/4g Sim card but quickly realized she was talking about wifi. I tried explaining to her how wifi
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    works and that she could not use her own wifi outside her house but could share her smartphone internet connection. She would have none of it. She said I was lying to her and making fun of her and asked to speak to my manager who then proceeded to tell her the exact same thing. She left almost screaming...
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    Yippee614 You cannot return an item that you no longer have in your possession.
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    aleighslo I used to work at Aaron Brothers, they had the famous buy a frame get another for a penny sale. People would try to return one frame, which obviously isn't allowed because then you're getting one frame for a penny. You have to return both frames. Seeing the blank stare of confusion as I explained that to people was always entertaining.
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    Franknng If your payment term is 6 weeks, being on holiday for 2 weeks is not a valid reason for not paying within the payment term.
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    Vexxetz If you want to continue using the service you need to pay your bill. Or why their services were suspended after they filed a chargeback. Feels like I'm talking to a child each time.
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    BronchialChunk Worked at a coffee shop, woman comes in saying that the mug she bought is defective. I ask what is wrong and she goes, 'It says it's microwave and dishwasher safe. I put it in the microwave to heat it up and it got hot!' Me, '....yeah. it means it can be used in a microwave without breaking.
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    Has a bowl never gotten hot when you've microwaved it? The contents heat up the container as well.' Her 'then it's not safe'
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    [deleted] That every payment has to be taxed and that's not up to the company but to the government.
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    badly behaved Holding title to something (e.g., vehicle, house, business license) in your name means that it is yours. There is no such thing as "That's not really my car, it's my son's car -- it's just in my name."
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    allthewholething Explaining that having your nasty a minivan cleaned in a 20 dollar, 15 min "express wash and vacuume" service. Will infact not magically replace missing paint and remove 2 dozen jolly ranchers melted into the carpet.
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    Usagii96 Client bought a car from our dealership and called two days later to say that the back doors were not opening from the inside. Asked him specifically if the child lock is deactivated, to which he replied yes it is.
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    Brought the vehicle back to us, one of our salespeople opens the door and deactivates the child lock while getting in. Opens the door and the client is absolutely mind blown that the door is suddenly opening.
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    C... Things don't have warranty after the warranty period. If you break something you don't have warranty, Warranty works by fixing the product, not giving you back the money or a totally different product.
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    DraydenFarci "The package carrier says they delayed my package due to a hurricane! I paid for overnight shipping! Your company is trash" Me: Sir, we didn't delay your package. The carrier is a different company. And there is a literal hurricane over the distribution center.
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    -OR- "I paid extra for overnight shipping and you haven't shipped it yet!" Me, on Monday morning: Sir, you ordered Friday at 8pm. We close at 3pm. We don't work weekends, and neither do the shipping companies, so the soonest you could possibly receive it is Tuesday if we shipped it today. Additionally, you
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    didn't pay "extra" for overnight shipping because we only offer one shipping method, and it is overnight.
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    swiftlikessharp... That a color copier cannot magically make your black and white image into a color one. I've had to explain this to two different customers over the years and know of at least one instance where it happened to a co-worker.
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    morganalefaye1... "It says 'Remove your card'. What do I do??" Well, ma'am, you should remove your card.
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    turingtested I used to work alone in a dry cleaners. A customer asked why I wasn't at the counter, I replied "I was in the restroom." He said "Why?"
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    ksauceyt My coworker and I work at a deli. One day, a customer came up to them asking why their meat smelled weird. My coworker asked, "well, how long have you had it?" and then the coworker said, "a few months, why?"
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    Apparently, the dude never even knew that expiration dates existed. He said that his ex-wife always prepared foods for him. He pointed at various other foods and asked if they had expiration dates too, so my coworker had to explain that each food had a different lifespan.
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    [deleted] 1. No, I don't have the ability to find exactly where your package is right now. I don't have any more information on that than you do. 2. No, I am not going to give you an entire purchase coupon because you were nice to me.
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    3. No, I can't stay on the phone with you while you drive to the store to return your item. If you do not need immediate assistance I have to move on. 4. No, I can't use a coupon for item A if you are buying item B. 5. No, the item is not in the back.
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    6. No, I can't call you if I am responding to your request via email. If you would like to speak to a representative, please call us. 7. No, I cannot give you the item for free simply because there is no tag on it. 8. No, you yelling at me is not teaching me anything, except that you are an a hole.
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    stryph42 Yes, I realize that when you were given your Social Security Number, back before The War, they told you to never tell it to anyone...but you called Social Security, and that's how you're identified in our system, so you're going to have to tell it to me or I can't help you.
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    eelzelton Worked as a server at a higher end steakhouse that had a beautiful patio. I was working a lunch shift on a day that was completely overcast; looked like it could start pouring rain any minute so we didn't "open up" the patio. The patio always had tables and chairs but we didn't open any umbrellas or set any tables.
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    A lady came in and asked for a seat on the patio, weird due to the weather but whatever. I walked her out to the patio and set up a table. for her and as I was walking away she asked if she could sit in a sunnier spot. None of the umbrellas were open, there were no sunny spots because the sun was not out.
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    I just looked at her and told her she could have her pick of any of the tables, she looked around and it was like it finally dawned on her that is was not patio weather. Years later and I'm still not sure if she thought I had some magical weather powers or if she thought if she just wanted it to be sunny strongly enough it would be....
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    Swedish-B If the closed sign is up it means we're closed. Why am I still here then? Because I work here. "But it says closed! Your work ends when it's closed!" Well that sure is news to me because that's not what my boss told me, Karen.
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    Grenache That Giraffe starts with a G not a J.
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    Buffythedragon... Yes the stairs indeed go up and down No the elevator does not go sideways I'm really sorry you didn't know there are fish in the ocean. No I can't do anything about it No our housekeeping services will not wipe your but. If you are not able to do
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    it yourself I'm gonna need to ask you to leave our premises. Of course you can complain to the hotel director about it. (Kicked them out.) I am very sorry you put your iPad. IPhone. And 3 other devices on one outlet with a cheap converter and started a fire in your room that destroyed them. We will not comp for your devices. Had to call security for this one.
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    Luckily authorities were still around because we had a J fire.
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    SonOfSparda19... If you don't pay your bill for several months, your service will get cut off, and no, we don't owe you money for the inconvenience of it.

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